Comments from the cartoonist:
EPS means Earnings Per Share, a measure of corporate profit. It is calculated by dividing fully diluted earnings by the number of outstanding shares.
Dine-and-ditch is way to cheat restaurants. A patron finishes his or her meal and quickly leaves before paying their bill.
“A dead cat bounce is a temporary [stock market] recovery from a prolonged decline or a bear market that is followed by the continuation of the downtrend. The name “dead cat bounce” is based on the notion that even a dead cat will bounce if it falls far enough and fast enough.” (www.investopedia.com)